Helga Muyo
by CrossoverManiac
Summary: Hey Arnold!/Tenchi Muyo crossover
1. Default Chapter Title

Chapter 1: No Need for New Guests  
  
The orchestra was playing a lovely and serene melody as a couple floated on the dance floor of a large and luxurious ballroom. They held each other close while gazing into each other's star-crossed eyes that burrowed deep into the other's soul. The boy, short in statute with blond hair and dressed in a tuxedo and a baseball cap three sizes too small looked up at the face of the girl. He said, "Helga, I've been harboring feelings for you that I have kept bottled up but will do so no longer.  
Helga."  
  
"Yes, Arnold," replied the girl with a smile on her face that she tried, in vain, to hide. She was a head taller than the boy and also blond, wearing an elegant, pink evening gown.  
  
"Helga."  
  
"Yes, Arnold."  
  
"Helga."  
  
"Yes, Arnold."  
  
"Helga."  
  
"Get on with it already!" The girl yelled out, slightly annoyed at the boy.  
  
"Helga, I'm afraid that is not the proper way to address your  
teacher, young lady." As the boy was speaking, his hairline receded,  
forming a rather large bald spot on his head, and what was left of his  
hair turned orange and became curly, and the features on his face  
transformed to those of a middle-age man stooping down next to her.  
  
Helga awoke from her daydream to the laughter of her classmates  
who were giggling at Helga whom was mumbling incomprehensibly and drooling  
on her desk just a second ago. She immediately sit up in her desk and  
addressed Simmons with an apology while cursing in her mind that her  
special moment with Arnold was all just a silly dream. Simmons walked up  
to the front of the class and picked up a piece of paper off of his desk.  
  
Mr. Simmons addressed the class in a cheery, optimistic tone.  
"Class, I have an important announcement to make. Three students from  
P.S. 118 has been chosen for the student foreign exchange program. Those  
three students will represent the United States for the next three months  
in Japan while attending classes and learning the culture."  
  
"Gee, I wonder which three students out of the three who signed up  
will get to go," Helga mumbled bitterly to herself. Their touchy-feeling  
teacher was talking like there was a mile long line of people trying to go   
on the foreign exchange trip. Helga was going only because Big Bob was   
forcing her. She was furious at her parents' obvious attempt to pass her   
off on someone else. It wouldn't have surprised her though if Big Bob  
decided to cancel her return ticket home and use the money for tickets to  
a football game. The trip was not a total loss. Arnold was going as  
well. It was only Arnold and her. Well, there was Phoebe, but Helga  
figured that Phoebe probably knew her feeling for Arnold even if she  
pretended not to. She can finally express her love for Arnold without  
worrying about them being seen, without the snide and cruel remarks that  
the other classmates would say if they found out, and without being  
thought of as weak.  
  
Mr. Simmons gave them each a folder and said, "Give these to your  
parents. This contains your plane tickets and passports along with a few  
other items you may need." They opened the folder and saw the passport  
and tickets along with two maps, one of all of Japan and a smaller map of  
the area where they would stay. They also saw a photo of three people: an   
elderly man, a middle aged man, and a teenage boy, huddled together for a   
group picture. "Arnold, Helga, and Phoebe, I'll expect you up tomorrow at  
4 in the morning to check into the 6:15 flight to Kyoto. There, a man  
named Nobuyuki Masaki will pick you up from the airport." Mr. Simmons   
pointed to the middle-aged man in the photo. "It's his family that you  
will be staying with. They live in a rural area with a lake and a shrine  
next to their house. You'll be going to the same school as his daughter,  
Sasami."  
  
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The sun rosed with the anticipation of a certain blue-green  
haired woman. Ryoko sneeked into Tenchi's room giddy with anticipation.  
She decided to have a picnic with just her and Tenchi. So, instead of   
sleeping in on the weekends as she always does, she got up at 6:30 AM,   
sneeked into Tenchi's room, tied him up, and was carrying him on her   
shoulder and holding a picnic basket all the while the young man was  
struggling and yelling for help. Unfortunately for Ryoko, someone else  
was just as determined to keep him from her. "Put Lord Tenchi down  
immediately, demoness," Aeka demanded from Ryoko. Her violet-red eyes  
were burning with anger upon seeing the hated space pirate making off with  
her one true love in order to steal him away. Ryoko put down the picnic  
basket and gave Aeka the traditional Japanese sign of dislike by folding  
her lower eyelid with her finger while facing the purple haired princess.  
This only enraged Aeka all the more, and she let loose her mini-guardians,  
small wooden cylinders. They surrounded Ryoko and what appeared to be  
forks of lightning sparked from one mini-guardian to another a second  
before the lightning stuck Ryoko and anything or anyone within four feet  
of her, including Tenchi. She dropped Tenchi from her shoulders and  
accidentally stepped on him. "Look what your behavior has done to poor  
Tenchi," yelled Aeka.  
  
"Look at what I've done. I didn't open fire on Tenchi," Ryoko  
sneered as she flew at full speed at Aeka trying to hit her with her fist.  
Aeka threw up her forcefield, but Ryoko's punch was strong enough to   
knock her back a good twenty feet into the wall knocking a circular hole  
in it about the size of Aeka's forcefield. Though most people would of  
gave up about a show of such strength, Aeka got up, coughed from the dust  
in her lungs, and gathered up her mini-guardians while Ryoko charged up  
her laser bolts in her hands.  
  
The two were about to go for another round if not for Yosho,   
Tenchi's grandfather, stepping in. He walked causally between the two  
women and drew is his wooden practice sword. "Ladies, please. Our guests  
will be here shortly," Yosho calmly stated, "and we can't welcome them in  
our house being in such a mess." And indeed the house was a mess: a burn  
spot on the carpet a yard across where Ryoko was standing when Aeka  
attacked, busted furniture, holes in the ceiling as well as the large one   
in the wall.  
  
"Yeah, Aeka and Ryoko, we can't let'em find out that you're not  
from Earth," Tenchi rebuked, still on the ground bound in rope. Yosho  
stooped down to untie his grandson while a woman that looked like a 12  
year old girl but was older than Earth's recorded history came out of her  
transdimensional laboratory with various robots to clean up the two girls'  
latest quarrel. Tenchi got off the floor and turned to her. "Thanks,  
Miss Washuu." He, then, walked over to the two girls that were fighting  
over him and said, "Remember, you two, when Dad brings them here, you're  
my sisters as is Washu and Sasami. No flirting with me or using your  
powers in front of those Americans."  
  
"What Americans?" a sweet, young voice asked from the kitchen.  
It was Sasami who was in an apron and holding a wooden spoon. She was  
cooking breakfast when the fight broke out and spied on them from the  
kitchen.  
  
Tenchi replied, "Three American your age is here for three months  
to be taught here in Japan as a part of a foreign exchange program that I  
volunteered our family for. I wanted to surprise you, but looks like you   
found out yourself."  
  
Sasami was overcome with joy. She ran to Tenchi hugging and  
thanking him. She longed to have friends come over that was her own age,  
and it was a bit lonely in the isolated Masaki household. Yeah, she had  
Aeka, Ryoko, and Tenchi, but they were all teenagers and not interested in  
spending time with her.  
  
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"So, kids, you like our place?" asked Nobuyuki as he and the three  
new additions to the Masaki household stepped out of the car.  
  
"Sure, I like it in the middle of no where with no stores, no  
arcades, no malls, nothing," said Helga sarcastically. "And to top it off,  
we're living off a diet of raw fish and squid. Yeah, a barrel of fun.  
Ouch" Helga rubbed her left side. Arnold nudged her in the lower ribs  
with his elbow a little to hard.  
  
"Please, Helga," pleaded Arnold "don't be rude to the Masakis. We  
have to set a good example. We're representing the entire United States."  
  
"Yeah. Yeah. Whatever, Football-Head."  
  
Nobuyuki, Helga, Phoebe, and Arnold walked in the house and were  
greeted be the rest of the Masaki household. Nobuyuki, then stepped in  
between the students and his family and began introducing everyone.  
"Everyone this is Helga Pataki, Phoebe Heyerdaul, and Arnold... what is  
your last name again?"  
  
"It's OK about the last name," replied Arnold. "My first name  
is good enough."  
  
"Alright then. This is my father Katsuhito (the name Yosho goes  
by), my youngest daughter, Sasami, Washuu, and the triplets Tenchi, Aeka,  
and Ryoko." Ryoko was hugging on Tenchi while Aeka was forcing a smile on  
her face all the while wishing to do bodily harm to the space pirate.   
"The two ladies here are friends of the family. The blond lady is Mihoshi   
Kuramitsu and the dark green haired lady next to her is Kiyone Makibi."  
  
Sasami walked up to the P.S. 118 students and asked, "Would you  
like for me to show you around?"  
  
"The only place I want to be shown is where to put my luggage and  
to watch TV," Helga replied with an uninterested look on her face.  
  
"No thanks." Phoebe politely declined, "I'm exhausted from the   
trip, but may be later."  
  
"I've love to take a look at the place," said Arnold.  
  
Arnold followed Sasami around the house and then outside to see  
the garden, pond, and shrine, but not before Helga noticed the look on  
Arnold's face. The same look she has whenever she daydreams about Arnold.  
  
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Just when Helga thought she got herself some distance from Lila  
and Ruth, she only gotten an even worst rival, Sasami. Come back to see the next chapter of this story. Tenchi Muyo is owned by Pioneer and AIC. Hey Arnold is owned by Nickelodeon. I am not making any money off of this, so please do not sue. Please send all comments and criticisms to weaver_sas@yahoo.com or weaverta@email.uah.edu. I shamelessly beg of you to e-mail me whether you like the story or not.  



	2. Default Chapter Title

Chapter 2 "No Need for Competition"  
  
"...and she has the nicest smile I've ever seen. No Gerald. She really is like that. You gotta help me," pleaded Arnold to his friend on the other end of the Pacific while pacing backing and forth in front of the phone as if he was on a sugar high. Ever since Arnold saw Sasami, she was the only thing that was on his mind. Out of desperation, he called his best friend up for advice since he have shown in the past a certain amount of confidence and charm towards those of the opposite sex. "She  
likes me, but she doesn't like me like me. OK, I see, but it's a long way  
from anyplace I can take her out. Where are we? We're pretty much out in  
the woods. That's right, nature can be romantic. OK thanks. Bye."  
  
Helga listened in on Arnold's entire conversation. Which, of  
course, was easy since he didn't even bother to acknowledge that she was  
there. She slumped down in her chair and breathed a sigh. Half of her  
felt like crawling into bed and dying while the other half wanted pull out  
strands of a certain someone's blue hair until she was completely bald.  
She decided to see if Sasami did like like Arnold and not just like Arnold.  
  
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Arnold, Helga, Sasami, and Phoebe were sitting in the cafeteria  
eating. Arnold was bragging to Sasami about the time he led the fourth  
grade class to victory against the fifth grade in a game of football.  
"... and then I threw the ball to Gerald and made the winning touchdown."  
  
Sasami looked a little confused and asked, "Why were you throwing  
it? You aren't allowed to even touch the ball with you hand."  
  
Helga giggled when she saw Arnold's face turned red and pointed at   
him. "Hey Phoebe, Football-head just got the translation for soccer and  
football confused." She then turns to Sasami and said, "Football is an  
American game where people try to get a ball to the opposite end of the  
field while the over team tries to tackle them before they do. Arnold  
likes it so much because the ball is shaped like his head. It isn't that  
right, Arnold." The three girls giggled at Arnold. This what Helga was  
hoping to do: embarrass Arnold in front of Sasami. The bell rang, and   
Helga started getting up. Just then, Arnold grabbed her arm. His eyes  
gave him the appearance of a puppy pleading to its master. For a moment,  
Helga looked shocked at this unfamiliar look on Arnold.   
  
"Helga, please don't embarrass me in front of our hosts," begged  
Arnold.  
  
"Don't you mean 'don't embarrass me in front of Sasami'? I mean,  
you don't honestly think Sasami'll go out with you? Besides, you made a  
bigger fool of yourself with your old football stories. You sound like  
Big Bob."  
  
"Just try not to embarrass me until we're back in the States."  
  
Helga smiled to herself; content with what she had accomplished.  
After the end of school, Helga decided to see if Arnold made a big enough  
fool of himself in front of Sasami to ruin his chances with her. She sat  
in the seat next to Sasami and said "Boy Arnold's some character isn't   
he."  
  
Sasami blushed a little to that statement and replied, "He's sorta  
of weird, but it's a cute weird. He so nice to be around. Are you and  
him friends?"  
  
Helga sneered at Sasami and said, "No, Football-head and I aren't  
friends, Pink-Eye." Sasami frowned and moved to a seat further to the  
back of the bus.  
  
Helga wasn't too thrilled with that. Arnold was getting to   
Sasami, and she knew from first hand experience what power Arnold had  
over women or at least her.  
  
When they got off at their stop, Helga saw Arnold offering to   
carry Sasami's books for her only to have her reluctantly recline. Helga   
waited for the others to go on the house ahead of her, waited until no one  
was looking, pulled out her locket of Arnold that she has hidden inside  
her dress when she wears it around her neck. She has an somber look on  
her face as she begun her usual monologue. "Oh, Arnold, how I long for  
you to feel such passion for me, for you to give your very soul to me.  
But instead, you give your heart to a complete stranger, a pretty face out  
of nowhere, and I not the one that truly deserves you." Helga pauses for  
a second and puts the locket back underneath her clothes. Her mode turned  
hateful. She felt her jealousy toward Sasami boil up in her. She also  
felt a real fear that she may loose Arnold. She makes up her mind to do  
something about it.  
  
End of Part 2  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I want to thank all of the people who gave me their opinion on the  
story. Hey Arnold! is own by Nickelodeon. Tenchi Muyo is owned by  
Pioneer. All comments and criticisms goes to weaverta@email.uah.edu or  
weaver_sas@yahoo.com.  
  
I want to thank K'thardin for his Sasami Rant that gave some  
insight into her life on Jurai. I also want to thank Fasdar and all of  
the people who gave me their opinion on the story. Hey Arnold! is  
own by Nickelodeon. Tenchi Muyo is owned by Pioneer. All comments and criticisms goes to weaverta@email.uah.edu or weaver_sas@yahoo.com.   



	3. Default Chapter Title

Part 3: No Need for Pranks  
  
It was time to do the after school chores. For this day, Tenchi,  
Sasami, Arnold and Helga were assigned to gardening duties.  
The ground was already planted with seeds but still needed  
fertilizing. Tenchi, Sasami, and Arnold stood in a patch of dirt  
with a each small scoop in one hand and the bag of fertilizer in  
another. It was the strong type. You could tell by the handkerchiefs   
over their mouth and nose. Helga, however, was busy in the shed where   
she spent the last fifteen minutes. Helga just emerged from   
the shed when a voice called out to her from behind.  
  
"Young lady, I know what you're up to,". Helga jumped a good  
three feet up in the air screaming. She turned around and saw it was  
Aeka that was speaking to her. She had an apron around her waist and   
was holding a basket, and from the  
scent that was emanating from the basket, it contained food.  
  
"It isn't what it look like, I swear," cried Helga.  
  
Aeka looked down at Helga folding her arms and looking sternly  
at Helga. "It is 'what it looks like'. You're just like my lazy  
sister..." Aeka paused for a second while she turned her head   
slightly to the left and made a face as if someone shoved fowl  
tasting cough syrup in her mouth, "Ryoko. Always trying sneak off  
to keep from doing her fair share of the chores."  
  
"Oh, Yeah. Please accept my apology, Aeka. It won't happen  
again." Helga then bowed to Aeka.  
  
"That better. Now eat up." Aeka walked back to the house  
but not before handing Helga a paper plate, some  
chop sticks, and a serving of today's meal. Helga took a bite from the  
food Aeka prepared. Often, Helga complained about the food in P.S.   
118's cafeteria, but Aeka's cooking was making Helga long   
for even cafeteria food. "I guess I have to do some sort of   
penance for what Sasami was going to get," thought Helga   
while trying to swallow Aeka's fowl cooking.  
  
Taking off the handkerchief from his face, Tenchi walked back to  
the tool shed to get some more fertilizer. Helga handed Sasami a  
half-empty bag, she ran out of fertilizer before anyone else did, and  
Tenchi offered to get her another bag for her. He walked in the shed and to his surprise, all of the bags of fertilizers were missing. All except one. It was sitting on a shelf. He walked up to it, and picked it up. All of a sudden, the entire contents of the bag wasted on his head. Tenchi spat out the vile tasting fertilizer out ofhis mouth along with the meal Aeka fixed for them unable able to stomach the strong odor that filled the shed. Tenchi cursed as he held his  
nose and ran back to the house for a quick bath.   
  
Standing by a window, Helga watched Tenchi sitting outside  
spraying room deodorizer all over himself. Helga mumbled sarcastically  
,"Thank a lot, Tenchi. That was meant for the blue-haired freak. Why  
does all of my plans go up in smoke like this all the time?" How was   
she supposed to know Tenchi was going to get Sasami another bag for her.  
  
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The socializing in Ms. Gennai's ecology class came to an abrupt halt when the class heard highheels shoes stepping in cadet coming to the class. Ms. Gennai, a tall woman with her hair in a bun and with an imposing look on her narrow face, walked into the room carrying in her hand a brown leather sacral. "Good afternoon, students," said the teacher as she shuffled through the papers in her bag while the class, likewise, greeted their teacher. "Class, I have a special group assignment for you." She began calling out names in the class and grouping those she called out together by twos. Helga and Phoebe were paired together as was Arnold and Sasami. "Now students, I want you to both agree on a biology project together and submit it to me at the end of class for approval." She slightly frowned and looked sternly at the class. "And don't pick anything that you think will require no effort on your part or I'll assign you a project that WILL be a challenge for you."  
  
Everyone in the class sighed at the prospect of such an assignment  
except for Arnold. He knew the assignment he wanted to do already. Everyone got out of their desks to converse with their assigned partners on the assignments. Arnold said to Sasami, "Let's do a study on a some of the birds in the forest outside of your house. You know some bird watching."  
  
Sasami thought for it a second. She didn't want to take on such an ambitious of a task, especially if it's an assignment given by Ms. Gennai who was in the habit of making a seemingly easy assignment into a difficult task. "I don't know, Arnold, if she doesn't think the assignment is hard enough, she'll pick another one for us."  
  
"I'll tell her we'll do a detailed report on what we saw."  
  
Sasami took a deep breath and sighed, "Alright, we'll do bird watching for the assignment."  
  
At the end of the hour, everyone got a line for submitting their proposal. Ms. Gennai looked over each proposal. Two students were ahead of Arnold and Sasami, one with hair tied in two pigtails like Helga's and one with hair cut short looked on the teacher with concern as she read their proposal. "Konoda and Eimi, collecting flowers for your biology assignment just won't cut it here. I want a five page report on parts of the flowers and what purpose they serve the flower."  
  
The short haired girl elbows the girl with pig tails and whispered, "I warned you that going a nature hike wouldn't cut it with Ms. Gennai."  
  
Arnold heard what the girls was saying and made a quick change to the assignment. He handed the report to the teacher. She looked over it for a second and smiled. "Finally, I have an industrious student in my class. I'm looking forward to your five page report on the daily life of the nightingale."  
  
Sasami's eyes bulged out of her sockets. She grabbed Arnold to the side. "You told me it would only be two pages long. How could you lie to me like that?"  
  
"I didn't lie, Sasami. I changed it because I saw heard what she said to those girls up front. She didn't like their assignment and gave them a five page report to do just like what have now."  
  
"I wished she did. I rather have their report. They'll have enough material to cover five pages, but we won't not if we're just bird watching." Sasami shook her head. "Oh, Arnold, I wish you thought this out."  
  
Arnold felt bad. He just wanted to impress Sasami but, instead, gave her a hard time.  
  
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About a mile away from the house, Sasami and Arnold were looking for a nightingale to do their report on. It was almost perfect, thought Arnold. The mood has been set by nature. The tree blossoms formed a kaleidoscopic blanket above their heads and filled the forest with a sweet fragrance that no human perfume could ever hope to match. Every kind of songbird could be found gathered in this forest for a grand symphony except the bird they were assigned to look for.  
  
"Arnold, we've been looking for two days for a nightingale and haven't found one," Sasami complained. "Why did you pick a nightingale to the report on?"  
  
"I didn't know nightingales weren't due to migrate back to Japan until later in the spring," said Arnold defensively. He planned to get closer to Sasami but only seemed to push her away and cause her to get a low grade in the class since the report was due in a week.  
  
Sasami saw that Arnold looked upset. She asked him, "Don't worry about the assignment, Arnold, I'm sure if we talk to Ms. Gennai she'll change the assignment so we watch another kind of..."  
  
Suddenly, Sasami stopped to listen to a chirping noise on the ground. It was a young sparrow whose wings were broken. It was hopping around trying to get airborne but couldn't with its injured wing.  
  
"Oh, no. It must have been those boys with the slingshots. They are always killing the birds with it," said Sasami. Arnold walked up to the bird, bent over the sparrow, and attempted to pick it up, but it pecked Arnold's hand. He pulled his hand back that was now bleeding. Sasami ran over to Arnold and started looking it over. "What did you think you were doing?"  
  
Arnold replied, "I was only trying to bring the sparrow to the house and maybe take it to a vet."  
  
Sasami was surprised by Arnold's act of kindness towards the bird. It was certainly a change from the rough sometime cruel nature of the boys she knew in school. Sasami then took off her vest and wrapped it around her right hand. She then picked up the bird. She turned to Arnold and said, "We have to hurry up and get a box for this bird so I can look at your hand." Arnold and Sasami ran back to the house and kept the bird in a shoe box, and then, Sasami got a bandage and some rubbing alcohol and began treating the bite on Arnold's hand.  
  
Over the next few days, Arnold made a brace for the bird's broken wing out of the tubes inside ballpoint pens and took care of it. The care Sasami and Arnold was giving the bird took up all of the time they had to do their assignment, but they couldn't take the animal to the veterinarian because he neither refused to treat wild animals nor could they abandon it. It was a four days before the assignment was to be turned in, and Sasami and Arnold decided to go ahead and tell the teacher they couldn't complete it.  
  
"Sasami, I'm sorry I got you an F in your class," apologized Arnold.  
  
Sasami replied, "Don't be sorry, Arnold. I don't mind helping you with the sparrow." Well, it wasn't completely true. She was growing to like Arnold very much and felt good being around him.  
  
Arnold was glad that Sasami wasn't mad at him. He could never take anyone being mad at him, especially someone he cared so deeply for.  
  
They walked into class fifteen minutes early to tell the teacher they didn't do any bird watching for the report. Ms. Gennai was furious that her students didn't make an effort to do their assignment.  
  
"You had two weeks to do your bird watching, and you didn't even try. What excuse do you have for laziness, Ms. Masaki and Mr. ... err ... Arnold?" Arnold was in a cold sweat. He didn't know how to explain to the teacher they were nursing a sick bird back to health. Then, he saw, out of the corner of his eye, Helga stepping out of the hallway.  
  
"I'll tell you what they did Ms. Gennai," Helga sneered, "they wasted the whole two weeks playing nursemaid to a stupid bird. Oh, here is mine and Phoebe's report." Helga walked to the teacher's desk and put her report on the desk all of the while maliciously laughing at Arnold and Sasami.  
  
Sasami said, "Stop talking mean about that bird!"  
  
"Is this true, Sasami?" asked Ms. Gennai.  
  
"Yes ma'am. Also, nightingales don't migrate back here until later in the spring."  
  
"You lazy children. You spent a week taking care of a sick animal and you wouldn't finish the rest of the assignment and write a report on your care of the bird."  
  
Both Sasami and Arnold were relieved to hear Ms. Gennai allowed them to do the report on the sparrow (Ms. Gennai, by the way, was going to let them change their assignment since they couldn't complete their proposal) and thanked her. Helga was about to walk out of the room when Ms. Gennai stopped her and said, "you should learn to be more like your friend or you're going to be a very lonely girl." Helga just walked out of the class with the "whatever" look on her face.  
  
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"...Please Mr. Masaki. Sasami said she would make the chocolate pudding for us," begged Helga.  
  
"I don't know. I'll miss my favorite show," answered Nobuyuki.  
  
"Good, because you don't need to watch that kind of show," said Tenchi who never could comprehend why his father would want a show like "The Irresponsible Captain Tyler".  
  
"It won't take long. I even help you," volunteered Helga.  
  
"Well then in that case, I don't mind going to the store on such short notice. And Tenchi said you were an ill-mannered brat. I don't why the boy would even think such a thing about a lovely young girl like yourself." Nobuyuki never wasted the opportunity to show off the Masaki charm even if it was just to flatter the guests.  
  
Helga and Nobuyuki walked into store. It was rather quite for a Saturday afternoon. Helga took the list and tore it in half and told Nobuyuki that they could make it in time to see some of "Captain Tyler" If they split up and each get half of the items. Nobuyuki agreed, and they both set off in opposite directions. Helga ran though the store getting all the items needed for homemade chocolate pudding so she could pick out the "extra ingredient" without anyone noticing. As soon she got the final item on the list, she grabbed ten boxes of Ex-Lax and ran to the cashier. "Mr. Masaki wanted me to get these items for him since he's embarrassed about his 'problem'," whispered Helga to the cashier. "I have enough money to pay for them. And he wants them on a separate ticket so his father doesn't look over them when they go over the family budget." The cashier nodded his head and put the boxes of Ex-Lax in the bottom of the bag along with the rests of the items.  
  
"Sasami, could you proofread this report I have before you start mixing up the chocolate pudding? My Kanji is a little rusty," asked Phoebe.  
  
Sasami replied, "Can't you get Aeka or Ryoko to?"  
  
"They all said they were too busy."  
  
Sasami agreed, and they both went to Tenchi's room. Helga came in through the window with a grocery bag and begin franticly pouring the entire contents of all ten boxes of Ex-Lax into the chocolate mix and climbed back out the window. She ran into the woods where there a small hole was just recently dug and a spade shovel. Helga threw the bag with the boxes in the hole and covered the hole with dirt and some dead grass. Helga then ran back to the house just outside the kitchen window, ducked behind it, and raised her head just high enough to see if Sasami would taste the meal as she while she was cooking as Helga has seen her do in the past. A few minutes later she walked into the kitchen with Arnold. Sasami added some milk to the contents in the pot and tasted some of it herself.   
  
Helga grinned wickedly and mumbled to herself "if she makes herself sick cooking that homemade pudding, she won't be `little miss perfect of the East' anymore." Helga's mood switched from pride to horror when Sasami asked Arnold to taste the pudding himself. Helga's opened her eyes wide when she saw Arnold tasting the tainted food. At first, nothing happened. They were talking to each other when all of a sudden, both of their stomachs started making funny noises. The two made a run to the bathroom, and Sasami beat Arnold to it. Arnold ran past Aeka and Ryoko who were sitting on the couch watching soaps on TV, out the door, and to the woods.  
  
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Folks, you know the drill, "Tenchi Muyo" is owned by Pioneer and A.I.C. and "Hey Arnold" is owned by Nickelodeon. "The Irresponsible Captain Tyler" is owned some rich people in Japan.  



	4. Default Chapter Title

Helga Muyo: Part4: No need for Break-ups  
  
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Sasami and Arnold were sitting on the couch slouching over still feeling sore from their latest bout of diarrhea. The two hasn't spoken much since that Saturday when they took to that stomach flu. It was Monday afternoon and no one else was at home except Katsuhito, and he was at the shrine. The silence in the house was getting too much for Sasami. Arnold must be mad at her, she thought, for making him sick. "Arnold, are you mad at me for making you sick".   
  
"No," said Arnold in shock, "how could I be mad at you. If anything, you should be mad at me. If Helga and I didn't want that homemade pudding, we wouldn't be sick."  
  
"I can't believed you thought I was mad at you!" Sasami was invigorated by the conversion she had with Arnold. She was glad there was relief from the silence. She didn't care too much for things go back to quite again. "I'm curious. Where did you learn to take care of birds?"  
  
"Pigeon Man taught me."  
  
"Pigeon Man?"  
  
"Before he moved away, he was a guy in my neighborhood that took care of all of the pigeons in the city. He lives with them and even talk with them."  
  
"That's fascinating. You must know a lot of people in the city."  
  
"Of course I do, there are my grandparents and all of the tenants in the boarding house: Mr. Hyunh who sings country music, there's Oscar and Susan Kokoshka, they fight all the time, mostly about Oscar spending all of Susan's money. Ernie Potts who's in demolitions, and Mr. Smith who we know nothing about since he's secretive and keeps to himself. And there's the kids I know in school like Harold, Sid, Lila, Eugene who everyone says is a jinx, but he isn't really. There's more I can count."  
  
Sasami began thinking about the life she lived behind the walls of the palace: the loneliness, the deafening silencce, and the force isolation. "I lived in a boarding school since I was little. It was real private; I seldom got out to see other people. I would of died for someone my age to talk to or play with." Sasami tilted her head down and looked at Arnold with a slight tear in her eyes. "I was so happy that my dad let me stay here. It's not so bad here as it was in the boarding school, but I feel like something (or someone) missing in my life." Arnold took Sasami's hand and held it, which made Sasami feel as if the sun filled the empty place inside in itself. It was then Sasami realized what Arnold really meant to her. Even being with Tenchi and the rest of her `extended' family, she felt that there was still a void, a place inside of her, but everytime she was with Arnold, apart from the times he acted weird or without thinking, no, when he tried impressing her, the void was filled. She felt light, like she was in space with no artificial gravity whenever he was with her looking into his beautiful, green eyes. "I want... I need," cried Sasami choked the sudden onslaught of emotions cascading from her heart, "I need you. Arnold, I love you.  
  
"Sasami."  
  
"Yes, Arnold."  
  
"I love you, too Sasami." Arnold sat side by side with Sasami and put his arms around her. They drew near to each other and nervously kissed for a second. The kiss was somewhat awkward since they were a little nervous, but still, the kiss was no less sweeter. They looked at each other for a second gazing into each other's eyes. Sasami took Arnold's hands and held them together and gave him an expression that said "Don't let this end." They embraced each other close and passionately kissed for a minute before they abruptly stopped when they heard someone coming though the door. It was Helga.  
  
Helga waved and greeted the two. "Hi Football-head. Hi Pink-Eye. Are you feeling any better?"  
  
"Yes, Arnold and I are doing find," replied Sasami as she put her head on Arnold's shoulder.  
  
"Good, then I'll be seeing you class tomorrow."  
  
Helga put on a somewhat mindless looking grin on her face and, when she was sure she was out of earshot, went back outside to cry her eyes out. She ran into the wood until she found a clearing that looked like an abandoned lot filled with garbage. Helga didn't know how long she was outside crying. She didn't care. She started picking up the old beer bottles she found in the area and slamming in the nearest tree all the while crying. "No matter what I do, that freak gets her hands on Arnold. I practically gift-wrapped him for her. Nothing works: not the Ex-Lax and pudding, not the fertilizer, nothing." When Helga ran out of beer bottles to throw, she threw rocks and sticks at the trees until she was out of breathe and too teary-eyed to see clearly. She slumped down on the tree next to the one she was throwing whatever she found within reach at. She started catching her breath, to calm down. Think Helga, she told herself, they haven't tie the knot or anything like that. This is temporary. He has to go home in two and a half months from now. He won't be here to see her after that. But what if they write to each other, what if they volunteered to take Arnold again for another three months next school year. No, I won't take that chance. As long as Sasami wants Arnold, then I can never be sure their relationship is over. Then, Helga realized what she thought of in her mind, "As long as Sasami wants Arnold". It was all of a manner of convincing her Arnold wasn't the one for her. The question was how. Then she recalled an incident in which she was feeling unusually euphoric. She walked into an alley near the school and wrote on a wall the words, "Arnold loves Helga". She didn't think anyone was around when she wrote it. Then, she heard some of her classmates coming. Helga panicked and changed the message to "Arnold loves Lila" instead. Everyone thought Arnold was in love with Lila, including Lila. They saw each other for a week. At first, Arnold didn't care for her and only saw her to be polite, but eventual he warmed up to her. But by then, Lila got the impression from Arnold that he wasn't really interested and dumped him. She felt a sudden rush of adrenaline in her system and new determination. She has a plan, a course of action to take in order to get Arnold back. She ran back to the house never realizing that Ryoko was watching from the trees.   
  
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It was time for the after school chores, but Sasami didn't mind today. It was a clear, sunny spring day. The blossoms on the trees were in bloom. Even if there was a typhoon outside, Sasami didn't care either. She and Arnold were together. They have seen each other for a week or so. They would talk about their lives, or in Sasami's case, the cover story, and they also would manage to steal an occasional kiss when they thought no one was looking. Sasami finally made it to her destination: the carrot garden. It was doing quite well to be so early in spring. Sasami was wearing gloves and overalls and was carrying a bag. It was time to weed the garden. From behind her, Helga called out to her. "Sasami, wait up. I want to help too."   
  
Sasami replied, "Sure, I could use some help. Ever weeded a garden before?"  
  
"No, but I learn fast."  
  
Sasami began showing which plants to pull and how to do so without damaging the vegetables or, in reality, the carrots since there were no other vegetables. All of a sudden, Helga and Sasami saw Phoebe running toward them.  
  
"What wrong, Phoebes?" asked Helga.  
  
"I was wondering, Helga, if you would ask Arnold to go out with me? I'm too nervous to ask," said Phoebe.  
  
"Phoebe, you just won't listen. I told you Arnold's no good. He's a player."  
  
Sasami jumped up and said, "What is a `player'?"  
  
Helga shook her head and replied, "A player is a boy who gets girls to go out with him so he can inflate his own ego and impress his friends. They like to use girls like some sort of play thing and throw'em to the curve when they're done with them."  
  
"Arnold isn't at all like that," said Sasami defensively.  
  
Helga took out a piece of paper and wrote a number. "Fine if you don't believe me, just call this number here." Helga gave the paper to Sasami and said, "It's to one of Arnold's old girlfriend, Lila. She'll tell you her experience with him."  
  
Sasami ran to the house and called the number Helga gave her. Lila's father picked it up.  
  
"Hello, may I speak to Lila. My name is Sasami Masaki. I'm a friend of Helga and Phoebe."  
  
"Sure, she's here."  
  
"Good, can I ask you a question, has anyone else called from Japan?"  
  
"Let me check," he checked the caller ID and said, "no, no one else called from your zip code. Is their any reason why you wanted to know if anyone else from Japan called here?"  
  
"It's personal." Sasami knew that whatever Lila said was unrehearsed since Helga couldn't tell her what to say to her.  
  
"OK. Here's Lila." Lila took the phone from her father when he handed to her.  
  
"Hello," said Lila.  
  
"I'm Sasami, and I'm a friend of Helga's."  
  
"Oh, you're the girl who Helga, Phoebe, and Arnold are staying with. Oh, I would love to be there with them oh so badly, but I can't speak Japanese."  
  
"That's nice. I need to ask you a question: were you and Arnold boyfriend and girlfriend?"  
  
"I'm not sure. One day I saw written on the wall "Arnold loves Lila". I thought Arnold liked me, but he said he didn't even write that message on the wall, let alone wanted to go out. But a week later, I decided not be his girlfriend. Then, he turns around and says he wants to be my boyfriend."  
  
"Then, Arnold's a player?"  
  
"Well, now that I think about it. It seemed to me that he was toying with my emotions. Well, yes, maybe he is a player."  
  
"Thank you," she said with her voice and chin lowered. She hung up the phone. She couldn't believe it. Arnold was a womanizing creep. All those acts of kindness he did were just to lure her in a false sense of security. How could he do this to her or anyone else for that matter?  
  
She ran in Tenchi's room where Arnold was staying. Arnold was doing his homework when Sasami came into the room. She looked angry and hurt all at the same time. Arnold started to worry about her. "Hi Sasamihow..."  
  
"DON'T YOU `HI SASAMI' ME! I KNOW YOU LIKE TOYING WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELING JUST LIKE YOU DID TO LILA AND WAS GOING TO DO TO ME!" Sasami screamed.   
  
"I'm not trying to use you."  
  
"Liar, I called Lila on the phone, and she said you wrote on a wall that you loved her and then told her you didn't. Just when she was getting over you, you claimed to be in love with her."  
  
"I didn't write that on the wall, I promise you."  
  
"I don't want to hear you lie to me anymore." Sasami ran to her room and locked the door behind her. All that could be heard from the room was Sasami crying.  
  
Sasami stayed in her room refusing to come out until Aeka made her go to school. Even then she wouldn't say anything to anyone other, "Please leave me alone." Arnold tried to talk with her, but she only became more upset and yelled some inappropriate four-letter words at him in both English and Japanese. Arnold was not so sociable himself. He wouldn't have anything to do with Helga since he knew Helga was the only one who would bring that old subject up. He wished he could find the joker who wrote that on the wall, thought Arnold.  
  
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Ryoko kept watch over Helga; just keeping within hearing range of her voice. Ever since she saw her in her favorite hiding place for drinking yelling something in English and throwing objects in some sort of rage, she took on the task of spying on her. This time around, she borrowed her mother's translation device. It was the size of a hearing aid and could translate whatever she heard from English to Japanese. She saw Helga watching TV and eating some leftovers from last night. When all of a sudden, Phoebe stormed into the room and stepped in front of Helga's view of the TV. Her face was red and had a nasty sneer on it. "I can't believe you did that."  
  
"Did what Phoebes?" asked Helga while leaning over trying to look past Phoebe.  
  
"I called the grocery store, and they told me what you bought for Nobuyuki and his "problem". You poisoned the pudding while I got Sasami to help you with your homework on account you said you were too embarrassed to ask."  
  
"It's not like no one died."  
  
"Well, they got terribly sick. You shouldn't of done that, and you know it."  
  
"Criminey, I can't believe I'm getting a guilt trip from you."  
  
Phoebe stormed out of the room but not before saying to Helga, "I'll be back when you're in a more remorseful mood."  
  
Helga shook her head, and reclined on the couch when all of a sudden she sat up in the couch and her eyes almost popped out of their sockets. She saw Ryoko suddenly appear before her very eyes. Ryoko had murder in her yellow eyes. The veins in her forehead were popping. The look on Ryoko's face sent a chill down Helga's spine.  
  
Ryoko said in a low, deep voice while powering up her laser sword, "you were trying to kill MY Tenchi." Helga threw the contents of her place in Ryoko's eyes and hopped over the couch. Helga didn't know what she was talking about and didn't care. All she could think of is to get away from her. She ran towards the door, but Ryoko instinctively teleported in the doorway while wiping the debris of food from her eyes. Helga panicked, ran in the Nobuyuki's study, and tried frantically to open the window but was unable to so before hearing Ryoko going from room-to-room looking for her. She hid in behind the dresser praying that Ryoko doesn't find her. Helga could here Ryoko tearing the house apart looking for her. Worse, the sounds were getting closer. Helga heart was beating out of chest fearful that this would be her last day on earth. Her heart felt like it came to an abrupt halt when she saw Ryoko then barges into the room and began tearing it apart.  
  
"Whacha looking for, Ryoko?" asked a voice from the other side of the room. It was Washuu. She had a notebook in her hand and was standing at a desk.  
  
"Helga, she poisoned the pudding that Sasami and Arnold got sick off of last week." Washuu reached out and pulled Helga from behind it. Ryoko immediately flew toward her laser sword drawn back to make a sweep across Helga's head and decapitate her but instead ran into a forcefield between her and Washuu and Helga. Ryoko backed away from the forcefield and rubbed her head where she hit it.  
  
"Let me kill her, Washuu. You can clone another one, and no one would be the wiser," said Ryoko.  
  
"Calm down, Ryoko." Washuu then turns to look at Helga. "Is it true, did you try to poison us?"  
  
"ItwasonlyaharmlessprankIswearItwasonlyEx-LaxIputinthepudding..."  
  
Washuu put her hand over Helga's mouth. "Slow down, will you."  
  
"OK. I just put some Ex-Lax in the pudding so that anyone who took it got a case of diarrhea, that's all."  
  
"OK, why did you do it?"  
  
"I just wanted to play a little prank on Sasami. That's all."  
  
"All right, then why did you want to play a prank on Sasami."  
  
Helga didn't want tell the truth that she was in love with Arnold and wanted to make it look like that she got sick from her own cooking so Arnold wouldn't like her. So she changed the subject.  
  
"So you, your sister Washuu, your brother Tenchi, and the rest of your family are like aliens right."  
  
Ryoko spoke up. "Tenchi's not my brother. He's my boyfriend if I get away from Aeka. And Washuu is sort of my mother. But yes, everyone except Nobuyuki is not from Earth. Well, Tenchi and Yosho are part human. But you didn't answer Washuu's question."  
  
"Are you going to tell on me?"  
  
"Probably."  
  
"You know, I could help you get Tenchi if you promise to keep the whole "Ex-Lax in the pudding" incident to ourselves."  
  
"You mean like what did to Sasami and Arnold."  
  
Helga shook her head. "No, no, no! I mean we can convince Aeka that she doesn't want Tenchi anymore."  
  
Ryoko was curious. How was this little girl is going to convince Aeka   
to leave Tenchi alone, she thought. Oh well, she could use a good laugh. "All right. I'm listening."  
  
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"I can't say that!" protested Ryoko. Ryoko, Washuu, and Helga were all in the subspace lab planning out Ryoko's love life. Washuu was coaching Ryoko on how to act their parts, while Helga was writing on a small red notebook while reading some sheets of paper.  
  
"You were the one who thought Helga's plan was a good idea," said Washuu. "I'm going through with this because you are my daughter."  
  
"But I never thought I had to tell Aeka that."  
  
Then Helga said, "Listen, we have to convince her that you don't even want Tenchi after you find out what he's really like. It's like what I overheard my dad said to some of his business partners about some of his customers, `They'll act like they don't want your product in order to drive down the price'. This is just a variation of that same theme." She stopped writing in the notebook and handed it over to Washuu. "Here's is the notebook with Tenchi's handwriting forged on it. Just let Aeka take a look at this, she's not as gullible as Sasami."  
  
"By the way," said Washuu "what do we have against Sasami, anyway."  
  
"Uh, nothing. I was just stating fact. That's all."  
  
Ryoko, then said, "Forget about the interrogation, Washuu. Let's get this over with."  
  
The three set up their plan. First, Ryoko sat down to watch the evening news with Aeka and to wait for the others.  
  
"Miss Ryoko," said Aeka, "I didn't know you like to watch the news."  
  
Ryoko replied, "I'm just curious." They set though the headlines and then the financial report. All the while, Ryoko was growing inpatient waiting Washuu to do her path.  
  
Helga and Washuu were hiding in the kitchen. Helga has with her some of Tenchi's homework and scratch paper that she used in forging his handwriting on the notebook, the notebook, and Tenchi's jacket. Washuu had in her hands an onion she chopped up that she kept up to her face that was now red with tears running from her eyes. Helga gives Washuu the OK to start and hands her Tenchi's jacket with the notebook in its pockets after Washuu throws the onion away.  
  
"WHHAAAAA!!!!" cried Washuu as she ran out of the kitchen.  
  
"What's wrong Miss Washuu?" asked Aeka.  
  
"Tenchi doesn't want me to with him anymore."  
  
Ryoko stood up and walked over to Washuu. "You mean you and Tenchi are seeing each other?"  
  
"Were seeing each other. He said he didn't need me anymore that he wanted another gullible idiot. He was so mean to me."  
  
"I don't believe this. What game are you playing Miss Washuu?" demanded Aeka.  
  
"He said no one would believe. I can't believe it's true," cried Washuu.  
  
"I don't believe it either," yelled Ryoko. She picked Washuu up by her shoulder shaking her. "You better tell me why you say those things about my Tenchi or else." The notebook, as planned, fell out of the jacket pocket and unto the floor. Aeka picked it up and began looking through it with Ryoko looking over her shoulder. She was shocked at some of the bad statements made by the writer in the notebook, but something else got her attention: it was scoresheet with names of the grown women in the house along with some other names as well.  
  
"I don't think we should be reading Tenchi's personal stuff," said Washuu while she was wiping away her tears.  
  
"This is Lord Tenchi's?" asked Aeka.  
  
Washuu answered, "It must be. It fell out of Tenchi's jacket. He left his jacket in my room when he told me we were breaking up."  
  
Aeka stood there standing in disbelief. "This can't be true."  
  
In the next room, Helga crossed her fingers hoping Ryoko doesn't back down from saying her lines. "Well, Aeka, if this is Tenchi's true colors, then you can have him," said Ryoko. "I think I can do better than someone the likes of him." Helga breathed a sign of relief. She saw how obsessed she was over Tenchi, exactly like she was over Arnold. Helga was glad to do this for her newfound kindred spirit.  
  
Aeka was silent for a minute but then nodded her chin up, smiled, and said, "Gladly, Miss Ryoko." Everyone's jaws dropped. "We Jurians women are known for our loyalty to our men which I am sad to say you completely lack. I can see the good inside Lord Tenchi. He maybe callous and cruel now Miss Ryoko, but he can change. He merely needs the right person in his life to bring out his better nature. Why, just this morning, my sister Sasami overlooked that incident between Arnold and Lila. And right now, they're back together again, and their love is blooming like the buds on the trees this spring."  
  
A scream ranged throughout the entire house followed by a thud. Washuu, Aeka, and Ryoko ran to the source of the scream, the kitchen. Helga was lying on her back and was unconscious. Aeka bent down to see if she was alright.  
  
"Move back everyone," yelled Aeka, "and give her room to breathe." Washuu nudged on Aeka's shoulder to move out of the way so she could examine her. Aeka was about to when she noticed the homework paper and scratch sheets Helga had on her. "This looks like those papers Lord Tenchi was doing his homework on." She was looking over them, trying to think of a reason why Helga had Tenchi's old homework and notes. Then, she looked at the scratch sheets. "Why is the same words are written on this sheet of paper over and over again..." Aeka's face became contorted with a sudden realization. "As if...someone was trying to forge Lord Tenchi's handwriting." Then, the mini-guardians formed around Ryoko and and the kitchen exploded.  
  
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For the next hour, the entire Masaki household was sitting in what was left of the rooms next to the kitchen arguing over what happened, who fault it was, why, and what they were doing to do about it. Washuu told the family everything she knew: the pudding incident, the break-up between Arnold and Sasami, and the incident she herself was involved in. They even got Helga to admit her motives for her pranks which caused Arnold to be the next fainting victim. Since no work was done by galactic science on the human brain, they couldn't erase their memories or else risk destroying their minds in the process. The adults decided it wasn't needed anyway. Afterall, no one would believe such an outlandish stories coming from nine-year-olds. After everything was said, Aeka spoke in her usual forgiving manner.  
  
"Mihoshi, Kiyone, I want you to arrest Washuu, Ryoko and Helga for capital crimes against the royal house."  
  
"Capital crimes," screamed Helga. "That means the death penalty.  
What did I do to earn the death penalty?"  
  
"You forged the handwriting of the crowned prince of Jurai along with Ryoko and Washuu and poisoned my sister, a member of Jurai's royal family. For that, your heads will be cut off and placed in the royal courtyard as a reminder to anyone else thinking of committing the same crimes."  
  
"You can bully around a little girl, Aeka, but you can't do anything to me," said Ryoko.  
  
"Hold it," yelled Sasami. "Noobody is going to be executed Aeka, let's just forget about the whole thing, I wasn't really hurt, and I don't want anyone to die because they played a prank." Sasami's cry for mercy did not fall on deaf ears, and Aeka canceled her orders to have the earth girl, mad scientist, and space pirate beheaded. Aeka did, however, promise Helga that would keep an eye on her and go ahead with the execution if she did anything else underhanded.  
  
Although the space pirate didn't really fear the princess's royal decree, Helga was relieved that she wouldn't have to be carted of to an alien planet and be killed. She turned around and tried to thank Sasami with a handshake but, instead, got a cold, dark stare from her.  
  
"Arnold and I are going to be together always. You'll never separate us or divide us so don't even try. And if you do, you'll wish I let my sister take care of you." Helga's face turned pale upon hearing Sasami's warning.  
  
Helga turned to her best friend and asked "Phoebe, how much longer we have here?"  
  
Phoebe replied, "Two months I believe."  
  
"In that case, Simmons has two months to make his peace with the world because the first thing I do when I get home is kill him."  
  
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Well, I hoped you enjoyed part 1 of this missed-up tale of romance. Two more parts are on the way, I promise. "Hey Arnold" is owned by Nickelodeon. "Tenchi Muyo" is owned by Pioneer and A.I.C. I want to thank K'thardin for his Sasami Rant that gave some insight into her life on Jurai. I also want to thank Bglanders and all of the people who gave me their opinion on the story. All comments and criticisms goes to weaverta@email.uah.edu or weaver_sas@yahoo.com. And as a note to all Tenchi Muyo nitpickers, I'm going by the OVA and "Matnatsu no Eve" so the incidents of TMiL didn't happen.   
  
  
  
  



	5. "No need for a scientific mission

Helga Muyo: part 5  
No need for a scientific mission  
  
If you haven't figured it out yet, the author owns none of this. Tenchi Muyo! is the creation Kajishima Masaki and owned by AIC. Hey Arnold! is the creation of Craig Bartlett and owned by Nickelodeon. Nic and AIC, sue me if you dare, but I warn you, you'll lose more money paying your army of zombie attack lawyers than you can collect from me. BHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Somewhere in rural Japan USA (no wait, Japan isn't in America. I think it's in Mexico)  
  
Arnold laid in bed asleep. He looked serene and disengaged from the turmoil of the rest of the world in the light of the early dawn entering in through his window. His covers came up to his chin neatly wrapping him in its warmth. The rising and falling of his chest was going at a slow rhythmic pace. No noise say the exhale of Arnold's breath could be heard.  
  
"Git up, Football-head!" bellowed Helga while she was ripping the sheets off the bed and throwing them to the wall. Helga finished her task of waking Arnold by giving him a kick in the hip.  
  
"How many times I have to tell you, Helga: don't come in my room in the mornings."  
  
"But we're a couple now, so that rule doesn't apply to me anymore."  
  
"Like heck you and Arnold are a couple." Sasami stormed in the room, stood on top of the bed and pushing Helga back. "Arnold, that awful girl didn't hurt you did she?"  
  
Arnold looks up at Sasami and gave her a false smile. "That's okay, Sasami. Helga's not doing anything wrong."  
  
"Oh, but I AM going to do lots of wrong things to Arnold." Arnold was shocked that Helga was saying that in a sexy voice, which he never heard from her. He turned to Helga who is now wearing a white dress and black and red vest, the same one Ryoko usually wears.  
  
"You'll regret the day you try that Miss Helga." Arnold turned his attention towards Sasami who is now wearing Aeka's Kimoto.  
  
"Oh look, lit' miss Princess is goin' to punish me. Oh, what will I ever do?" Helga, who hair was now blue-green and spiked, mocked. She got on Arnold's left side and started nuzzling him.  
  
Sasami, who's hair style was now exactly like Aeka's, pushed Helga away. "Leave Lord Arnold alone, devil woman." Sasami grabbed Arnold's arm. "Come Lord Arnold, you don't want to associate with the likes of her."  
  
Helga grabbed Arnold's other arm and said in Ryoko's voice, "Wanna bet, Princess."  
  
Sasami tried yanking Arnold away from Helga and yelled back in Aeka's voice, "Let go of him."  
  
Arnold turmed to where Helga was only to find Ryoko in her place. "Drop dead, old maid." Arnold turned his head the other way only to find Aeka in Sasami's place.   
  
"Leave Lord Tenchi alone." Suddenly, it was Tenchi in Arnold's place.  
  
  
  
"Aaaawwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tenchi shot up out of his bed gasping for air. He went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. "It's still me," he whispered. Tenchi gazed at his reflection which indicated to him that he needed a trim and a shave. "I wonder why I dreamt Helga and Sasami was turning into Ryoko and Aeka and Arnold was turning into me." Tenchi started back to his room when he saw a familiar face. "Grandpa, what are you doing up so early?"  
  
Katsuhito was in a pair of blue pajamas looking solemn. "I heard you scream. So I got up to check up on you. Must have been a pretty bad dream, huh Tenchi?"  
  
"Well," Tenchi chuckled, "it was a doozy."  
  
"Tell me about your dream, grandson." Tenchi told his grandfather about the dream.   
  
"So, Grandpa, what does it mean."  
  
"You of all people should know, Tenchi."  
  
"No way! That whole mess is already settled. Sasami and Arnold are a couple. I mean Arnold made his choice."  
  
"Unlike you, Tenchi."  
  
"Well..."  
  
Grandfather and grandson conversation was interrupted (and grandson was glad too) when they heard an argument in the living room.  
  
  
"Helga, Arnold's history report isn't due til next week." Sasami stumped her feet pouting at Helga.  
  
"You want Arnold to rush though his report at the last minute and flunk," Helga sneered.  
  
"I'm not going to fool around and not finish my report. You know me better than that."  
  
"Off course she does," Sasami said in agreement, "she's just doesn't want to see each other." Sasami took Arnold by the hand and tried leading him away, but Arnold just stood there staring at Helga. "Come on, Arnold."  
  
"Sure, Sasami," Arnold half-hearted responded and made their way to Sasami's room.  
  
Helga wasn't going to let this discourage her. She went about the house calling for Nobuyuki and Katsuhito. As Helga was looking, she came across Ryoko. "Hey, Ryoko, have your seen Grandpa and Noby?"  
  
"No," Ryoko answered, "I haven't. Why you're looking for those two?"  
  
"I saw Arnold and Sasami go into Sasasmi's room. I figure if I make it sound like they were making out in Sasami's room, I could get Sasami in trouble and away from Arnold."  
  
"ARE YOU SUCH A COWARD YOU GET TENCHI'S OLD MAN AND GRANDPA TO FIGHT YOUR BATTLES FOR YOU!!!!!" Ryoko's yelled loud enough that Helga's ears were ringing.  
  
"What's the big idea, Ryoko? I thought we were on the same side?"  
  
"All you're doing is playing the spoiler for everyone else Arnold's interested in." Ryoko put her hands to her side. "If that all you're doing to do, then you don't deserve Arnold."  
  
"Now, wait a sec, Ryaldo..."  
  
"No, you wait, Helga." said Ryoko sternly, "if all you do is break up Arnold's relationships with other girls and not tell him that you're interested, all you'd done is left him alone. I wouldn't do that to Tenchi. I never hid my true feelings from him. You never once told Arnold."  
  
"As a matter of fact, I did, sort of."  
  
"What do mean, 'sort of'?"  
  
Helga explained to Ryoko the time she pretended to be Cecile, Arnold pen pal from France and met him in a French restraunant on Valentine's Day. She almost got him to like here like her, but Arnold didn't know who she really was.  
  
Ryoko stooped down to Helga's eye level and smiled at her. "Why don't you tell him, Helga? I'm sure he would want to find out who Cecile was."  
  
"After, all those years torturing him, calling him 'Footballhead', and making him the object of all of my evil plans, he's going to believe I'm his long-lost sweetheart?"  
  
"Why not? He knows how you really feel about him."  
  
"That's another thing: it sickens him to think I have a thing for him."  
  
Ryoko gritted her teeth. "Fine then, give up on Arnold and move on elsewhere. He obviously doesn't mean that much to you." Ryoko turned around and started walking away but not before Helga grabbed her by the collar of her blouse.  
  
"That's not true. Arnold means everything to me."  
  
"Then fight for him..."  
  
  
  
  
Inside her interdimensional laboratory, Washuu was on her holographic labtop calibrating her equipment. It was a clear pipe running to the very end of the horizon. Her screen showed a brown crystal suspended in midair, held in place by green rays emitted from orbs at the end of metal cylinder almost completely enclosing the crystal but leaving a space in the front. In front that space was the end of the clear tube. Washuu hears the bell in front of her dimensional door open. "Mihoshi, how many do I have to you not to come in my lab when I'm in the middle of an experiment!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Little Washuu." The voice wasn't Mihoshi. It came from Phoebe. "I didn't mean to disturb you, I can wait until you're finished with your lab work."  
  
"No, Phoebe, YOU can stay. Unless of course, you insist on touching my equipment like certain Galaxy Police persons I know." Washuu gave Phoebe a puzzled look. "By the way, how did you get in her."  
  
"Mihoshi let me in. But she didn't say you were in the middle of an important experiment."  
  
"Figures."  
  
"What scientific endeavor are you engaged in?"  
  
"Nothing, really, just some impact testing on a fragment of Ryo-ohki. I'm working on a new configuration for her spaceship structure. It's to improve her structural integrity against collisions with meteors." Phoebe noticed a humming noise from a control consule on their end of the clear pipe. Washuu gave Phoebe a pair of goggles and earmuffs.  
  
"Safety first." Phoebe put on both items. Suddenly, there was suddenly flash of light followed by a mushroom cloud rising out of the horizon. A few seconds later, the lab shook to the eruption of an ear-shattering explosion followed by a strong gust of wind.  
  
Phoebe tore off her head gear. "You said you were impact testing. That was more like a nuclear explosion!"  
  
"When a spaceship is flying through interstellar space at 25% the speed of light and hit a piece of ice off a comet, the amount of kinetic energy released is about the same as an atomic explosion."  
  
"Gosh, Little Washuu, I didn't know that. You sure are smart."  
  
"And you sure are trying to suck up. Whadda want?"  
  
Phoebe put her hands together and started pleading to Washuu. "I overheard Ryoko and Tenchi talking. They said you were going a xeno-zoology study of another planet. It would mean so much to me if you..."  
  
"The answer is 'no'," Washuu interrupted.  
  
"But I didn't finish asking you."  
  
"I already know what you want. And a species from a quarentine planet can't leave on a vessel of not their own creation, let alone accompany a professor of the Royal Science Academy."  
  
"But we already know the existance of extraterrestrials. There's no harm in letting us see anymore. Besides, I heard you were quite the rebel and never listen to any of the Science Academy's rules."  
  
"Is that what Ryoko told you about her mother?"  
  
"No, that was what Mihoshi told us. Then, she showed us your records."  
  
Washuu signed. "I'm going to have a long talk with Office Mihoshi on the right of privacy of galactic citizens."  
  
"I mentioned that to her, and she said you committed some felonies and that reliquished your privacy rights."  
  
Washuu, upon hearing this, fell over in her seat. "I thought the pardon from the regional governor deleted that from my records." Washuu picked herself back up. "All right, you can go."  
  
"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, Little Washuu!" Phoebe said. "I'll tell Arnold and the rest we're going to space with you." Phoebe ran out off the lab.  
  
"Wait a sec. I didn't say anyone else could go." But Phoebe was already gone. "Nevermind, how much trouble could Phoebe, Arnold, Hel-ga, and Sa-sa-mi cause." The mention of the last two names gave Washuu a throbbing pain in her head. 


End file.
